One Year

Today marks one year since you left us. It’s so painful knowing that you’ll miss all this life you could have had. It’s painful knowing you left us so abruptly. You were my hero. I remember our mornings together. You would drink your coffee and I would watch cartoons or play video games in my… Continue reading One Year

The Truth

It’s been almost a month since my last blog post and everyday I wake up with the weight of it all. The truth is I don’t know what I’m doing. The truth is I’m a mess. The truth is I had something so precious and it got spoiled by my toxic nature. The truth is… Continue reading The Truth

Home

“Wherever someone thinks of you, that’s where home is” -Jiraiuya Sensei You used to be my home.  Home is somewhere you can return to but I can’t return to you. I took you for granted for too long. I took the gifts you gave me and threw them away. I let cobwebs cover them. I… Continue reading Home

Surfacing

The girl is still here. She never died. She is just buried under and working her way to the surface. The girl is broken and scared. She is grasping for anything in the dark, hoping to get her footing and reach the light. To burst through the surface and reclaim herself. The girl is resilient… Continue reading Surfacing

Save As Draft

I struggle I juggle I could just throw a line to you But I should let sleeping dogs lie ‘Cause I know better, baby I write it Erase it Repeat it But what good will it do To reopen the wound So I take a deep breath And I save as draft It’s been 21… Continue reading Save As Draft

Level Up

AJ turned 34 yesterday and the way I see it he has reached level 34 and he’s just getting started. I’m so excited to see where life takes us together. We’ve grown a family and created the life we want and there’s nothing that can stop us.  I had been planning the surprise party for… Continue reading Level Up

Family

When I think about what brings me joy I can’t help but think of the family I’ve created throughout the years.  I have four precious pets. One golden retriever puppy named Herman Lucas, Two tabby feline sisters Olivia Love and Jade Marie, and a rescue Maine Coon we got from the shelter named Robert Leroy.… Continue reading Family

5 Years

So much has changed in five years. I went from feeling worthless and running for my life with only my two pet cats and a rusty Nissan to graduating college, starting my writing career and finding the man of my dreams. I was with this really abusive guy for four and a half years and… Continue reading 5 Years

Senses

Smell  His hair  Fresh coffee Puppy breath  The air freshener in my childhood home in the hallway by my bedroom. It’s floral and sweet and makes me think of wild flowers in a field where I could lay and let the earth wrap itself around me while I stare into the sky wishing things were… Continue reading Senses

Rainy Day

‘Cause I wanna be somebody to someone But it all is starting to blur like a dream Burn the sash and smash that tiara No that’s not me I’ll never be prom queen No that’s not me I’ll never be prom queen     Today is a rainy day and what I mean by that is… Continue reading Rainy Day