The Truth

It’s been almost a month since my last blog post and everyday I wake up with the weight of it all.

The truth is I don’t know what I’m doing. The truth is I’m a mess. The truth is I had something so precious and it got spoiled by my toxic nature. The truth is it’s finally over and it’s time to move on alone.

The truth is that my birthday was yesterday and to celebrate I went out to a bar and danced with a few strangers and drank way too much. I left way too early and got Taco Bell on my way home.

It was a lonely. sad night. I remember asking the bartender if there were any sad birthday girl discounts tonight which he thought was sad so he bought me a shot. The truth is I broke my sobriety.

The truth is I’m not okay. On December 3rd my dad will have been gone for one year. It still doesn’t feel real. I miss him a lot.

The truth is I do my makeup everyday and cry it all off by nighttime. The truth is I hide behind my false lashes and overdrawn lips.

The truth is I’ve lost a lot of people in the last few months and it’s because of my actions. The truth is I’m a liar and I hurt people who love me.

The truth is now I have no choice but to move on and begin again. The truth is I’m stating at ground zero with little to no resources.

The truth is I don’t know how to end this blog because life seems so pointless right now. The truth is my therapist was right about everything. The wheels are turning in my head and I’m afraid I will go down that dark place again but I have to find someway to stay in the light. I have to remember why I started. I have to remember my truth.

By itsmaggie92

Hi I'm Maggie and I'm a 28 year old cat lady that loves writing and anything fun and adventurous.

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