Save As Draft

I struggle

I juggle

I could just throw a line to you

But I should let sleeping dogs lie

‘Cause I know better, baby

I write it

Erase it

Repeat it

But what good will it do

To reopen the wound

So I take a deep breath

And I save as draft

It’s been 21 days since I’ve been gone. And I still wonder if he thinks of me but I know the truth now. 

I deserve better. 

I deserve a love that’s true and whole and built on trust and compassion. I deserve a man who will put me first. 

I know better now that I can identify the red flags and the things I should walk away from. Things like when he would talk to his exes when he knew how much it hurt me. That was the main ingredient to our demise. 

I find myself wanting to talk to him but it’s no good for me because it only reopens the wound and I’m a mess all over again. I have to free myself and get out of my own way. 

Being with him was so amazing. I miss the good times and he taught me a lot about myself but I can’t forget the pain he caused me. He made me forget who I was. He made me sacrifice my own needs so that he could be happy. I neglected myself to the point of depression and days filled with anxiety and turmoil. 

This is the perfect time for me to focus on myself. I get to build the life I want for myself. In a way my ex set me free so that I could finally find my own happiness. I get to create the person I want to be. 

If you’re reading this don’t be like me. Don’t wait for things to get so bad that you have a breakdown to realize how you deserve more. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you’re worthy. Worthy of what life has to offer. Worthy of the love goi have inside yourself. Speak the truth until your voice shakes. Look fear in the face and rise above those negative thoughts. I promise you it will be better than uprooting your life to realize it. Or maybe you need to uproot your life. Just know that you deserve the best. 

Take care, 

Maggie