On my way to work this morning I realized something that I hadn’t thought of before. As I sat and began to stew in my negative thoughts, something said to me:
“This doesn’t concern you”.
I felt confused but then I really thought about it and asked myself if my negative thoughts served me? Did I have to be concerned about these negative thoughts that derail my whole day? I don’t think so. I think the reality we want is just a moment away. We make our own choices which influence our day to day lives. This includes your thoughts.
So the next time I have a thought that makes me feel bad about myself or inadequate, I’m going to stop and say to myself: “This doesn’t concern me” and carry on.
I’m so tired of being ruled by fear and negativity. The daunting questions I ask myself like “what if I’m not good enough to be loved?” and “what if my writing isn’t good enough?”. I’m so tired of doubting myself and not allowing myself to live my best life right now. I want to be free from living for myself and growing my own happiness.
There’s no reason to feel jealous of others. There’s no reason to be afraid of the future. There’s no reason to not believe in the beauty of the world. There’s no reason not to believe in love and magic.
I feel magic when he looks in my eyes and I see the man I love before me. I feel beauty when the sun is shining in my face. I feel love when I take care of myself. I feel love when I think of my dad. I feel love when I think of all the blessings life has given me so far. These are the thoughts that serve me. These are the people in my life that serve me and uplift me.
I chose to believe in magic and love and beauty. I chose to believe the man in my life is there because he wants to be and I deserve his love. I chose to believe that I am important in my work environment. I chose to believe there are many people in my life that love me and are there to uplift me when I need it. I chose to believe in myself. I chose to believe I am good enough. I chose to believe that there are endless blessings ahead of me in my life. I chose to believe I’m right where I need to be.
When I think of my dad I try to imagine what he would say to me in times of hardship. I like to believe he would start by saying, “Sissy, you’re beautiful and smart and you got a good head on your shoulders”.
He would remind me how great I am. He would remind me of my accomplishments and how far I’ve come. My dad would tell me to forget about all “that shit”. He would lift me up and remind me of how many people are in my corner. He would be my biggest fan.
I wish I could call him and tell him thank you and I love you. I would tell him he was my hero and my best friend. I would tell him I appreciate him for all his hard work when me and my brother were kids. I would tell him I’m proud of him for serving our country. I would tell him I’m a better person because he existed in this world.
Friends, I hope wherever you are you remember that you are loved, you are special, and you are enough. Please know that these moments in life will be an ocean of ebb and flow. You will have bad days, but remember the good days are right behind you. Remember that you have people you may not even know that care about you and want you to succeed. Remember I am here for you.