Sing

When I was a little girl I used to sing my heart out and wouldn’t care who was around to hear it. I love singing songs that are about love and romance. I’m a hopeless romantic and I have no shame in that. When I was a kid I would sing in hopes that my father would hear me and give me praise, which he did all the time. He was my biggest fan. 

Since becoming an adult, I’ve developed unnecessary fears and insecurities. One of them being my voice when I sing. I used to be so fearless as a child singing in the kitchen, my bedroom, outside in my tree. I was so happy and didn’t care who heard me. 

I still feel the same excitement when I sing in my car by myself. I love singing to old songs like Patsy Cline and Shania Twain. I love hearing the soul coming out of me when I open myself up to the music. 

A few days ago I celebrated my one year anniversary with the man of my dreams. I wanted to do something for him that I had not done in a long time. I wanted to sing him a song that came from the heart. From the same space in my heart that spilled over in my childhood when I would sing for myself. So I picked a song from our lover’s playlist and sang “Head Over Feet” to him while my heart pounded and my throat swelled with the voice I hadn’t used in years. 

I watched him smile at me with the kind of smile that comes from a surprise so intimate. I felt like I had his full attention and I sang with love in my heart to the man I love in front of me. I felt nervous butterflies fluttering in my stomach but I pushed through the whole song and only messed up once which I laughed about mid song. 

I thought of all the men before him that didn’t make the cut. I thought of how grateful I was of all the heartbreak before him. I thought of how lonely I felt before I met him. How I thought I was unlovable and unworthy of all the blessings in my life now. I thought of how proud my dad would be of me for facing my fear. God rest his soul. 

When I think of my insecurities I can’t help but wonder why I hold onto them so tightly. If I think about them really hard I can rationalize with myself to the point where I understand how silly my fears are. I faced my fear the other day and since then I’ve felt really good about myself. I feel like a weight was lifted and I was able to do something beyond myself. 

I hope you find this courage to face your fears. I hope you find a safe space to express yourself and be who you are. I promise it’s worth it. 

Take care, 

Maggie xo

By itsmaggie92

Hi I'm Maggie and I'm a 28 year old cat lady that loves writing and anything fun and adventurous.

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